August 22, 2009
Shannon’s Sweet Valley High Blog has a new url: http://shannonsweetvalley.com
I’ve closed comments on this site so that I don’t have some here and some there, and all future recaps will be posted at that address rather than this one. Make sure you update your bookmarks!
August 21, 2009
This is where the whole thing goes sideways, folks. Get ready.
The moral of the story: Prom is just not worth it.
The Big Deal: Party at the beach, horrible Jungle Prom
Synopsis:
At a totally awesome beach party, Bruce dares Jessica to swim out to the buoy. Liz begs Jessica not to do it, but Jessica laughs and jumps in the water (after stripping down to her bikini “striptease-style”). Liz runs around freaking out, telling Todd, Sam and Enid that Jessica’s in the water. Everyone tells Liz to chill, but she can’t. Jessica comes back to shore and Liz is all, “Jessica! You’re all right!” Jessica laughs and says of course she’s all right. Liz gets upset and decides she’s not going to worry about Jessica anymore; Liz is only going to worry about herself from now on.
Lila is having a terrible time with her date, Tony Alimenti. He’s a nice guy, but Lila isn’t ready for dating yet and only agreed to come to the party because Jessica and Amy wouldn’t leave her alone. Lila watches her friends dancing and wonders if they’re ever scared that their boyfriends will overpower them. Then Tony tries to put his arm around her and she jumps.
Meanwhile, Bruce is making out with Andrea Slade. He knows Andrea likes him a lot, but he’s just not interested because she doesn’t present a challenge. She tries to get him to commit to a picnic next weekend, but Bruce is an ass and tells her he doesn’t do commitment and if she doesn’t like it she can take a hike.
A ton of kids run onto the beach wearing Big Mesa’s school colors. They knock over the food table, spray shaving cream on everything and pick up the girls and carry them for a few feet and then drop them in the sand (Lila screams at the top of her lungs). The whole thing only lasts five minutes, but the mess is horrible. Sweet Valley wants revenge.
At the Dairi Burger afterward, the twins argue over whether or not Sweet Valley should retaliate while Bruce and some other former Club X members are in the parking lot discussing how they can get revenge on Big Mesa. Tony takes Lila home and she freaks out when he tries to kiss her goodnight. Liz and Todd go to Miller’s Point and talk. They decide everyone will calm down and nothing else will come of the raid on the beach.
While getting ready for the beach party, the twins came up with an awesome idea for a jungle themed school dance. At school on Tuesday, Liz tells her friends she’s gotten the go ahead from Principal Cooper on the Jungle Prom. They talk about whether or not there should be a king and queen, and Liz wonders if she should go for it. Later, Todd convinces her she would be a great queen. After school, Jessica goes out with her friends and declares that she intends to be prom queen.
Jungle Queen
Lila has a session that afternoon with Nathan Pritchard, her counselor. She’s really upset about Saturday night and tells Nathan what happened with Tony. Nathan does his best to convince her that maybe Tony wasn’t trying to hurt her and that Lila’s just oversensitive right now. Lila concedes that he’s probably right and says she doesn’t want to be scared of every boy in the world.
Environmental Alert, the organization Liz found to fund the prom, calls Liz and says they’ve put together a prize package for whoever is elected prom queen. The queen will win a trip to Brazil and the opportunity to be an honorary spokesperson for Environmental Alert. Liz runs out to the pool to tell Jessica and Lila the news. When she goes back inside, Jessica starts gushing to Lila about how awesome it will be when she’s prom queen. Lila pretends to fall asleep so Jessica will shut up. A few minutes later, Alice comes home. Lila watches Alice and Jessica talk to each other. She wishes she had a mother to talk to. Damn, Lila makes me so sad in this book.
Jessica misses a meeting of the prom committee, so Liz goes ahead without her. The committee decides on formal dress for the prom, which Liz knows is going to upset Jessica, who wanted everyone to dress all Tarzan and Jane. When Liz tells everyone about the prize package for the queen, everyone on the committee tells her she’s the logical choice. Jessica is pissed that Liz let the committee vote on the dress code issue without her, but doesn’t mind when she realizes that if it weren’t for Liz, Jessica wouldn’t be going to Brazil. She’s sure she doesn’t have any competition for the title of queen.
Andrea finds Bruce after school on Friday and asks him what he’s doing the next day. Bruce says something rude and is sure she’ll tell him off, but she just looks sad and tells him to call her sometime. Bruce thinks it’s kind of fun to string her along and see how much abuse she’ll take. He goes outside to the parking lot to find that his car, along with everyone else’s, is a mess. The damned Big Mesa jerks have come back with their shaving cream and they’ve drawn bulls (their mascot) all over everyone’s cars. The same afternoon, Liz gets a copy of Big Mesa’s newspaper in her Oracle inbox. There’s an article about how crappy Sweet Valley’s basketball team is.
A few days later, Liz is looking over The Oracle before it goes to the printer and notices the story she asked Caroline to write is a little weird. She wanted an article promoting the prom and asked Caroline to leave names out of it, including Liz’s. Caroline has written a piece of crap that makes it sound like the whole prom was Jessica’s idea. Liz is pissed, but decides to get over it. That night, Jessica says something about “when I go to Brazil,” and Liz gets angry again. She asks Jessica if it ever occurred to her that Liz might like to go to Brazil. Jessica says no, being prom queen isn’t really Liz’s thing. Liz gets all weird and asks how Jessica knows what her kind of thing is, as if Jessica hasn’t been living with her for sixteen years. They have a big argument. Afterward, Jessica goes to Sam’s to study and tells him how strange Liz has been acting. Sam makes her forget about it and they talk about maybe spending the night together after the prom.
There’s a big pep rally for all the sporting events that are coming up. Jessica outshines the rest of the cheerleaders and then makes a big speech about the prom. Liz knows it’s all part of her campaign to be voted queen.
Jessica and Lila are shopping at Lisette’s a few days later and talking about Liz. Lila tells Jessica to stop being so cocky about being voted queen because a lot of people think Liz is going to win. Jessica is all “Yeah, whatever.” She finds a dress she likes and goes to try it on. Just then, Liz and Enid come in. Liz finds a dress she likes and goes to try it on. Jessica and Liz come out of their fitting rooms at the same time wearing the same dress. Lila thinks it’s pretty funny.
Bruce goes to the marina to take his father’s boat out. He runs into Nicholas Morrow, who mentions Regina. Bruce doesn’t know how Nicholas can talk about her without getting upset. Bruce goes home that night, takes a picture of Regina out of his nightstand drawer and cries.
On Friday, Liz gets another delivery from Big Mesa. It’s another article from the Bull’s Eye, and this one is full of accusations that Sweet Valley cheated to win the track meet the day before. Todd convinces Liz not to retaliate and they go to lunch. In the cafeteria, Jessica is handing out buttons that say “Save the Rainforest—Come to the Jungle Prom,” and telling people she used her own money to have them made. Liz is outraged at Jessica’s campaigning. Liz, you’re allowed to campaign, too, if you want. Todd tries to tell her to calm down, and she gets even more angry.
On Monday morning, Lila is getting ready for school and wondering if she should go to the prom. She starts thinking about Nathan realizes he’s really cute, and Lila is grateful to him for helping her so much in counseling. She decides she’ll go to the prom even though she doesn’t have a date. Nathan will be chaperoning and she can just hang out with him. Lila goes into her counseling session that afternoon a new woman. She flirts with Nathan a little and tells him she’s back to her old self.
Jessica drags Amy, Robin and Lila to a prom committee meeting and pisses Liz off by acting like she wants to be involved. Before the meeting is over, she brings up the real reason she came to the meeting: she doesn’t think any Big Mesa kids should be allowed to come to the prom. The committee is split, so Liz arranges for the whole school to vote. She’s happy when the school votes against Jessica’s idea.
Later, Penny tells the twins that she was contacted by Sweet Sixteen magazine. They heard about the prom and want to do an interview with whoever came up with the idea. I’m so sure. Liz and Jessica are scheduled for an interview and photo shoot the next day. Jessica doesn’t show up and the Sweet Sixteen people are tired of waiting. Against her better judgment, Liz agrees to do the interview alone. When Jessica shows up forty-five minutes late and finds out they left without her, she’s convinced Liz set it all up somehow.
On Wednesday, Liz writes an editorial for The Oracle. It’s an attack on Big Mesa. Liz gets mad when Todd tells her she’s being mean. Friday night is the big basketball game against Big Mesa, and Liz says some mean things to Enid about Hugh not having the guts to show up and support his school. Damn, she’s crabby. Sweet Valley wins the game, and the Big Mesa kids hightail it out of there.
Finally, it’s prom night. Everyone lavishes Liz with praise and Jessica is mad that they’re all acting like Liz did all the work. When Sam points out that Liz actually did do all the work, Jessica stomps off and tells him to ask someone else to dance. He asks Liz. Todd is elected prom king, and in one hour, the queen will be announced. Jessica knows she needs to do something fast if she’s going to take Liz out of the running, which she’s even more determined to do when she sees Liz and Sam dancing together. A Big Mesa guy starts flirting with Jessica and she notices he’s drunk. She flirts back to get some of his alcohol and then pours a ton of it into Liz’s punch cup.
Drunk and happy, Liz tells Sam she doesn’t care about being queen. She yells to Andrea and Patty that she’s withdrawing her name so Jessica can win. Jessica does win, but as soon as the crown is on her head, she feels guilty.
Suddenly, twenty or thirty Big Mesa kids come in and start running through the gym, punching people on their way through to the football field. Bruce rounds up a bunch of guys to follow them. Jessica, suddenly worried about Liz, jumps off the stage to try to find her. She sees Liz and Sam wobbling out the door, but by the time she makes her way through the crowd and into the parking lot, Liz is in the driver’s seat of the Jeep. Before Jessica can get to them, Liz drives off. Jessica finds Todd and tells him they need to go after them.
Lila is stuck in the gym. No matter what exit she tries to use, there are people blocking her way. Finally, Nathan takes her arm and leads her out of the gymnasium. The hallway isn’t much better, so Nathan pulls her into an empty classroom. Once they’re alone, Lila has a flashback to John’s attack on her and she’s suddenly sure that Nathan was only pretending to be nice so he could get her alone and take advantage of her. She screams. The cops have made it to the school, and at the sound of Lila’s scream, they burst into the classroom. Lila says Nathan attacked her, and the cops haul him off.
There’s a massive brawl out on the football field and Bruce is right in the middle of it. A Big Mesa kid hits him with a bat and knocks him down. Just as the other guy is going to hit him again, a beautiful girl tells the guy to stop. She reaches out to help Bruce up, but he gets kicked in the head and blacks out.
Todd and Jessica hop in Todd’s car and go off in the direction Liz and Sam went. Jessica tells Todd that Liz and Sam are drunk, but says she doesn’t know where they got the alcohol. They see a crashed Jeep on the side of the road and pull over. There are cops on the scene already, and they say both the driver and passenger are dead.
To be continued…
Quotes:
In [Bruce’s] opinion, the only fun in dating was the sport of it. The more it was like a tennis match, where he had to wear down his opponent through expertise and sheer force of will, the better he liked it.
Jeez. What a freak.
The Cover: God, the twins are so ugly! Is it really possible that neither one of them did anything special with her hair for the biggest social event of the year?
August 20, 2009
The moral of the story: Blacks and whites really don’t belong together.
The Big Deal: Party at Andrea’s, Whitman/Thomas wedding
Synopsis:
Steve has been spending a lot of time teaching Cheryl Thomas to drive. Everyone starts to think there’s something romantic between them and Jessica asks Steve what’s going on. Steve laughs and says they’re just good friends, but then he worries that maybe the reason he’s not interested in Cheryl like that is because she’s black. Dammit, didn’t we just have a book about race yesterday? After a driving lesson, Steve and Cheryl go to a little restaurant up the highway. There’s a table of skinhead jackasses at the next table and they make some stupid remarks. Steve and Cheryl leave, and Cheryl starts crying. Steve comforts her and they end up making out.
Steve tells the twins he and Cheryl are a couple now, but Liz notes that he looks more determined than happy, especially when he starts talking about how they’ll have obstacles to overcome. Somehow, the whole school hears about the couple, and everyone is talking about it. Apparently, “Steve and Cheryl are a first.” Jessica wants to make sure everyone knows she supports the match, and she thinks the best way to do this is to offer to make the wedding cake for Annie’s mom and Cheryl’s dad. Cheryl doesn’t know Jessica well, so she thinks her enthusiasm is masking some racism.
For their first night out on the town as a couple, Steve, terrified of being alone with Cheryl, calls a bunch of his college buddies and they all go to the Beach Disco. Cheryl dances with Steve’s black friend, Martin, and feels a strong attraction to him. She realizes she’s not attracted to Steven at all, but wonders how that can be when she’s in love with him. Damn, these kids are sure fast to label something as “love.” She wonders if she’s not attracted to Steve just because he’s white. Ugh.
Of all of the twins’ friends, only Lila seems down on the idea of Steve and Cheryl being together. Jessica tries to convince her that closed-mindedness is out, but Lila says this is a bad move for both Steve and Cheryl. She says Andrea Slade is throwing a party this weekend, and any person who doesn’t get an invitation can count himself as a nobody. Also, since Andrea and Nicholas Morrow have broken up (aw, poor Nicholas), Andrea has developed a crush on Bruce, who is sure to be helping her with the guest list to the party. Bruce doesn’t think much of Steve and Cheryl, so Lila’s sure they won’t be invited. And that will mean that Lila was right and Jessica was wrong.
Steve and Cheryl do end up getting invited, and they’re just so awesome that by the end of the night, everyone thinks they’re the coolest couple ever. But Steve and Cheryl both spend page after page worrying about their relationship and realizing they really aren’t right for each other, but neither of them ever thinks to tell the other.
The day of the wedding, Liz and Jessica are making the wedding cake and talking about what kind of weddings they’ll have. Jessica says she and Sam won’t be ready to get married for at least five years. Aw, Sam. Liz hopes she and Todd will get married someday.
At the wedding reception, Cheryl gives a toast to her father and new stepmother. This toast somehow serves as a message to Steve, and when Cheryl sits down they do that thing where they immediately understand each other. Suddenly, they’re just friends. Cheryl ends up going out with Steve’s black friend, Martin.
Quotes:
My big brother is half of the very first interracial couple at Sweet Valley High!
I guess Sandy and Manuel don’t count. Or Annie and Tony. Is it only interracial if one person is black and the other is white? Also, Steve doesn’t go to Sweet Valley High.
The Cover: What the hell? Is Steve actually smiling? I don’t believe it. This is proof that he’s trying too hard.
August 19, 2009
The moral of the story: It’s really tough to be black in Sweet Valley.
The Big Deal: PBA swim party
Synopsis:
Annie Whitman’s mother, Mona, comes home from a photo shoot in New York and tells Annie she’s been seeing a photographer named Walter Thomas. Walter has asked her to marry him and she’s accepted, so he and his daughter, Cheryl, are coming out to Sweet Valley to meet Annie and look for a place to live. Then Mona says Walter and Cheryl are black. Annie doesn’t care.
Tony Esteban calls later that night. Annie broke up with him when she found out he was seeing another girl behind her back. He’s stopped seeing this other chick and wants to get back together with Annie. Annie still loves him and all her friends think she should give him another chance, but she doesn’t want to get hurt again.
The Wakefields’ next door neighbors, the Beckwiths, have moved away, and one morning, Jessica sees a realtor take down the for sale sign. She goes next door and finds Annie and her mother. Annie tells the twins about her mother’s upcoming marriage, and Jessica is super excited that Mona is marrying a famous photographer. She knows all about Walter and Cheryl because of some article she read in a magazine. She thinks Walter is really talented and Cheryl is stylish and can’t wait to meet them. Annie acts a little weird and tells Jessica not to tell anyone her news.
Annie keeps telling herself she doesn’t have a problem with Walter and Cheryl being black. She’s concerned about what other people are going to think so she doesn’t tell anyone, and when she thinks Jessica is going to blurt it out, she changes the subject. Meanwhile, Tony keeps pestering her and asking her to get back together. She tells him she has too much on her mind to deal with him.
Annie and her mother pick up Walter and Cheryl from the airport. Annie and Cheryl get along, but when they realize how different Sweet Valley is from New York, Cheryl gets kind of bummed out. Annie wonders how Cheryl feels about Annie and her mother being white. Later, as the girls are getting ready for bed, Annie asks Cheryl how she feels about moving to California. Cheryl says she’s glad her father is happy, but that California is so different from New York. Annie wonders if she means because there aren’t very many black people. Annie’s got a one-track mind, seriously.
The next morning, Annie and Cheryl drive over to the new house to get ready for the movers. On the car ride over, they get along really well, but as soon as they’re at the house and the twins come over, Annie gets weird. She and Cheryl go upstairs to pick out their bedrooms, and Annie gets all weird again because she really wanted the bedroom Cheryl picked, but didn’t say anything. Things are better by the end of the day and Cheryl is looking forward to the party Annie is throwing for her.
The party is awkward because everyone who shows up is surprised to find that Cheryl is black. They’re not upset or anything, they just don’t know why Annie didn’t mention it. And everyone, Cheryl included, is puzzled by the number of black and Hispanic people Annie invited because most of them are people she’s not close to. Cheryl asks Annie about it, and Annie runs off and cries in the kitchen. She thinks Cheryl will never forgive her for embarrassing her. God, she’s such a drama queen.
Annie figures she’ll make things better if she includes Cheryl in everything she does. She takes her to the Dairi Burger, Casey’s, the beach, the mall, Guido’s and the Wakefields’ pool. It’s clear to us, if not to Annie, that Cheryl is a little overwhelmed. Annie notices Cheryl isn’t a hundred percent overjoyed and thinks that means she just needs to try harder.
Annie makes Cheryl go to a football game. Since Annie’s cheering, Cheryl gets a ride with the Wakefields. When Liz and Todd go to get some refreshments, Cheryl takes out a book and starts reading. Steve notices and starts to teach her the rules of football. They start talking, and Steve offers to teach Cheryl how to drive since she can’t just walk everywhere like she did in New York. Cheryl has a good time with Steve and actually manages to drive around the school parking lot without stalling the car.
Annie tells Cheryl she wants to nominate her for membership in Pi Beta Alpha. Cheryl doesn’t seem all that interested, but Annie pushes until Cheryl agrees. At the next meeting, the motion is carried, but Suzanne Hanlon seems unhappy about it. Suzanne is having a PBA swim party on Friday for the members to get to know Cheryl and the other potential pledge, and she basically blackmails Annie into making all the food for the party. If she doesn’t, she’ll blackball Cheryl.
The next day after school, Todd is giving Cheryl, Rosa and Liz a ride home. Cheryl starts talking to Rosa about how much she misses her piano, which hasn’t arrived from New York yet. Rosa invites her over to play her mother’s piano, and Liz tags along. Cheryl asks Liz what happened at the PBA meeting the night before, and Rosa ends up telling Cheryl she’s happier for not joining. When Liz and Cheryl are walking home, Tony rides up on his bike and asks how Annie is doing. Liz explains that Annie and Tony used to date, and Tony tells Cheryl what an idiot he was and that he wishes Annie would talk to him. When Cheryl gets home, she tells Annie what Tony said, but Annie is still afraid of getting hurt. She changes the subject and mentions Suzanne’s swim party. Cheryl says she’ll only go if Annie invites Tony.
Why does everyone want Annie to get back together with a douchebag who cheated on her?
At the party, Annie and Tony get back together. Later, when Lila asks Cheryl to come up and say a few words, Cheryl diplomatically says she would like to withdraw her name. Once everyone gets over their shock and the party is back in motion, Annie starts going off on Cheryl, saying she went out of her way to get the PBAs to nominate her and even let Suzanne blackmail her, and Cheryl isn’t even grateful. Cheryl makes a good point about the fact that Annie should have asked if she even wanted to join the sorority, but then ruins her credibility with me when she says something about Annie expecting her to be grateful like all white people expect black people to be grateful to them for trying to turn them into white people. Ah, go hang out with Andy and talk about Dr. King.
The next morning, Steve Wakefield is sitting by the pool when he sees Cheryl next door. He invites her to sit with him, and she tells him all about her fight with Annie. She says they were both out of line at the party and have been misunderstanding each other from the beginning. Steve compares them to Liz and Jessica and says the twins are as different as Cheryl and Annie are. Because it all comes back to the damned twins. Then Annie runs over all upset because she just got a call that her mother is in the hospital. She collapsed at the store. Steve drives them to the hospital, and once the doctor tells them it was just Mona’s appendix and she’ll be fine, Cheryl and Annie spend all of half a page apologizing and suddenly everything is all better. Hooray.
Quotes:
“I know Andy did have that trouble with Charlie Cashman, but aside from that I don’t think he or any of the other black kids have had much reason to feel uncomfortable at Sweet Valley High.”
“That trouble?” Liz makes it sound like they had a little disagreement at a tea party. Andy got jumped by five guys in a parking lot. He got punched in the stomach by his best friend. He had to go to the hospital.
“Sweet Valley sounds like something out of a 1950’s beach-party movie – football, cheerleaders, sororities, surfing. I suppose you have a burger joint, too?”
I was wondering when someone was going to notice. Good job, Cheryl.
The Cover: Argh, I hate both their hairstyles. And their clothes. And their earrings. And the fact that they’re supposed to be high school juniors, but they both look like they’re older than I am.
August 18, 2009
The moral of the story: Be wary of anyone who worships Jessica Wakefield. He or she is clearly not right in the head.
The Big Deal: Party at the lake, party at Lila’s
Synopsis:
Famous theater director David Goodman has chosen Sweet Valley High for his annual student theater production of Macbeth. Jessica is going out for the part of Lady Macbeth and is sure she’ll get it. She makes it through the first two cuts, and Steven asks her if she’s sure she wants to be in the play. Apparently, there’s some curse associated with Macbeth, people dying before the play can be performed, that kind of thing. Jessica thinks he’s teasing. Meanwhile, there’s this weird sophomore girl named Paula Perrine who has been following Jessica around and it’s getting creepy. Jessica finally confronts her and says she’s seen Paula watching her. Paula gets all crazed and falls all over herself to tell Jessica how awesome and popular she is. When Jessica says, “You’re Paula Perrine, right?” Paula just about faints because Jessica Wakefield knows her name. Wow.
Jessica starts being nice to Paula now that she knows she adores her. Paula helps Jessica with her lines and prepares her for the final audition, and in the meantime, starts sitting with Jessica, Amy, Lila and their friends at lunch. Jessica’s hard work pays off and she gets the part of Lady Macbeth. Lila is cast as one of the witches. Ha.
One night, while Paula is at the house, Jessica leaves her alone in the living room when Sam calls. Liz can’t believe how rude Jessica is being, so she takes some soda and cookies and goes to talk to Paula. Paula can’t believe how nice Liz is, but then says that of course she’s nice, she’s Jessica’s sister. Then she asks Liz what Jessica is like and what it’s like to be her friend. Something about Paula reminds me an awful lot of Dobby the house elf. Liz asks Paula about her family and finds out Paula’s mother died last year and her older brother ran away a couple months ago to get away from their abusive, alcoholic father. Paula is in Sweet Valley living with friends of her mother’s. Later that night, Liz tells Jessica what Paula told her. Jessica decides to be even nicer to Paula. She gives her a fakeover and talks her into auditioning for one of the smaller roles in the play.
Paula starts hanging around all the time. She gives Annie a present (a headband) and gets Lila to give her some tennis lessons. She does a lot of things that make me think that the whole story about her family was a lie. Paula starts doing little things to turn Jessica’s friends against her. She purposely does things to make Jessica angry, and then Jessica yells at her in front of everyone. The whole gang knows about Paula’s troubled past and they can’t believe Jessica would be so mean to someone who’s been through so much.
Jessica starts to get wise to Paula, and she knows for sure that something is wrong when Paula doesn’t tell her that Lady Macbeth’s understudy got mono and Paula has taken her place. Then she finds out Lila, Amy and Paula organized a party at the lake and didn’t invite her. Jessica is really tense around Paula and a little scared of her, but everyone thinks she’s just being a bitch.
Finally, it’s opening night of the play. Just two hours before she’s supposed to be at the school, Jessica gets a call from Paula, who says she’s an hour away in Cold Springs. She gives some sob story about how she thought her father was in the hospital, but he really just wanted money and stole Paula’s bus fare home. As much as she dislikes Paula, Jessica doesn’t want her to be stranded in Cold Springs. She drives up there and tries to follow the directions Paula gave her, but they don’t make any sense. She finally finds a map and discovers that none of the streets Paula gave her even exist. She calls the school to tell Mr. Goodman she’s on her way, but he says they can’t wait and Paula is already there in costume.
Jessica gets to the school and slips into a seat beside Liz, Sam and Todd. When Liz got home earlier and discovered that Jessica wasn’t there, she called Paula’s house and found out that not only is Paula’s mother alive and well, but her father has been dead for ten years. When Liz called, Paula and her brother were at the mall. Liz tells Jessica all this on the way to Lila’s cast party after the performance.
At Lila’s, Jessica confronts Paula in a most melodramatic and ridiculous way, with Liz and the boyfriends being the only ones behind her at first, but most everyone else moving to stand next to her by the end of her speech. The whole thing ends with Liz starting a slow clap.
The next morning, the twins have their friends over and everyone is hanging out by the pool. Then Paula shows up and doesn’t notice that everyone is giving her the evil eye. She finally catches on, says a few bitchy words and then turns around to leave, but Prince Albert the dog trips her and she falls into the pool. She refuses Jessica’s helping hand and pulls herself up and walks away in a huff.
There’s a hilarious side story about Lila playing the witch and not being happy about it.
Quotes:
“Stop playing big sister with me,” said Jessica. “Remember, you’re four minutes older, not four years!”
Ooh, a twist on the usual page 2 spiel.
“Oh, wow! I don’t believe Jessica Wakefield actually knows my name!” cried Paula. Then she stopped, blushing. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to embarrass you. It’s just that you and your friends are so beautiful and so popular, I never dreamed you would notice someone like me.”
That’s just fucking creepy.
“Sleep shall neither night nor day hang upon his penthouse lid,” [Lila] said, throwing out her arms dramatically. In the process, Jessica noticed, she carefully positioned her hands directly in front of Annie and Rosa’s faces.
This actually made me giggle. Lila is awesome.
The Cover: Remember when we all wore our button down shirts knotted like Jessica’s? And our jeans all up around our waists? ‘Cause the early nineties were so awesome. Paula looks like a bitch.
August 17, 2009
The moral of the story: Dana Larson is a bitch.
The Big Deal: Two parties at the twins’ house and one at Lila’s
Synopsis:
Prince Arthur of Santa Dora is coming for a visit and everyone is all worked up about it. All the girls are excited and keep worrying about what they’re going to wear when they see him. The girls’ boyfriends are starting to get annoyed, especially Todd, who doesn’t like that Liz and Arthur have been pen pals all this time. The only person who doesn’t care about the prince is Dana, who refuses when Jessica asks the Droids to play at a party she’s throwing for Arthur. Liz is having a lunch party to welcome Arthur to Sweet Valley, and Jessica wants her to invite Dana, figuring if she meets Arthur, she’ll realize he’s not so bad and agree to play the party. Jessica purposely does not invite Sam to the lunch because she’s sure Arthur will fall madly in love with her and she doesn’t want Sam around when that happens.
Enid reads some of Arthur’s letters to Liz and points out that maybe Todd has a reason to be jealous. Liz admits that maybe she’s right, so the first chance she gets, she tells Arthur that Todd is her boyfriend and they’re very serious about each other. Arthur seems disappointed, but he’s very gracious. Dana is all moody at the lunch party and seems to have a problem with Arthur just because everyone else is so interested in him. I think it’s because Dana is a lesbian and she’s jealous that all the girls are paying so much attention to him instead of her. (By the way, Dana and Aaron have broken up for no reason that has been explained to me.) Arthur goes to school with Liz for some reason, and during a discussion about Hamlet in English class, Dana starts babbling about how much royalty sucks. It’s clear she’s talking about Arthur, so Mr. Collins asks Arthur and Dana if they’d be okay with a formal debate. They agree. Arthur wins.
That night at the Dairi Burger, Arthur tells Liz and Todd that he has a crush on Dana. Liz goes home and calls Enid. Jessica listens to the conversation but only hears part of it. She misunderstands and thinks Arthur likes her. At the party the next night, she neglects Sam and waits for Arthur to talk to her. Sam gets fed up and goes home. Arthur finally does come talk to her and asks her to ask Dana to dance with him. Dana agrees, and at the end of three songs, she’s falling in love with the guy. Jessica is depressed and decides to give up and help Lila, whose plan is to get in good with one of Arthur’s bodyguards, Paolo, and then get invited to Arthur’s hotel, where she can make him see that Dana is all wrong for him.
Lila invites Paolo over to her house the next day, and he mentions a task that Arthur must complete by the eve of his seventeenth birthday. He won’t say what the task is, but Arthur’s birthday is less than a month away.
I’m finding it really hard to care about this book for two reasons: 1.) This is a terribly boring follow-up to Lila’s ordeal in the last book. 2.) We’re starting to get really close to the Jungle Prom and I’m getting antsy. Ah, well. Halfway through.
Arthur and Dana start spending a lot of time together while Lila and Jessica follow them around and spy. Jessica thinks Lila’s losing her mind, but Lila is obsessed. Arthur comes over to talk to Liz one night because he wants her advice. He says it’s tradition in his country for the prince to announce a betrothal on his seventeenth birthday. He’s fallen in love with Dana and wants her to be his wife. Liz’s advice is to just be honest with her, so the next night, Arthur gives Dana a ring and asks her to marry him. Dana says she’s gonna need a day or two to think about it.
Lila finds out about the tradition and is sure Dana doesn’t know about it. She talks to a friend of her father’s, Anita, who is a reporter for the Sweet Valley News. Anita calls Dana on Saturday morning and asks whether or not she’ll accept Arthur’s proposal. Dana tells her if she wants the scoop first, she should come to Lila’s party that night. Anita thanks her for the tip, and then remarks how lucky it is that Arthur found a girl he likes before his seventeenth birthday so he doesn’t have to marry the girl his parents have in mind for him. Dana is pissed and thinks Arthur only proposed because of the tradition. She goes to his hotel and throws his ring back at him, but of course doesn’t explain why she’s so upset. She’s home for only a few minutes when Arthur’s limousine shows up. Dana won’t talk to him, but when she looks out her window, he seems really sad. She figures it’s just his pride that’s been hurt.
At her party, Lila sees Arthur looking all sad and figures that’s her cue. She drags him out to the dance floor, but he doesn’t feel like dancing and leaves her standing there alone. Jessica, watching from the sidelines, thinks it’s hilarious and tells Liz that Lila was the one who leaked the marriage tradition to the reporter. Liz tells Arthur what happened and that she’s sure Dana is still in love with him, but Arthur isn’t hearing it. He decides to go home the next day.
The next morning, Liz goes to Dana’s house and tells her Arthur really does love her and that he’s leaving that day because he’s so brokenhearted. Dana races to his hotel and he explains himself blah, blah, blah. He decides to tell his parents this particular custom is outdated and he wants no part of it. He and Dana promise to remain close friends.
Quotes:
“If you ask me, the concept of a royal family in this day and age is completely ridiculous. We’re supposed to be above all that in the United States!”
Um, Dana? Arthur isn’t from the United States.
“Your accent is almost gone,” Jessica observed to Arthur as they walked through the house.
“The benefit of so much travel,” Arthur explained.
So, if someone from Europe travels around the world enough, he’ll end up sounding like a Californian?
The Cover: Until I actually read the tagline, I was sure that was Liz on the cover, not Dana. Prince Arthur looks like a real cheeseball.
August 17, 2009
I received this from Lindsay and Jan, two of my very favorite bloggers. Thank you!
The rules: Once you receive this award, you are to list seven of your favorite things and then nominate seven other blogs.
My seven favorite things:
1. Stephen King – I am a huge Stephen King fan. I know a lot of stuffy literary types don’t take him seriously, but that’s okay by me. The Dark Tower series is absolutely one of the greatest things I’ve ever read.
2. Cheez-Its – I cannot live without them.
3. Lost – My very favorite show on television.
4. The Sims – I have spent so many hours playing the different versions of this game. It’s really kind of sad.
5. Shoes – I’m going to eventually need a whole new closet just to keep my shoes in.
6. Crispy Bacon Ranch salads from McDonald’s – I could eat three of these a day.
7. TV show box sets – This is the greatest thing anyone has ever thought of. I kind of love having the box sets almost as much as I love watching the shows.
Awesome Blogs:
Instead of talking about the same blogs I always list, I want to mention a few that I’ve only semi-recently discovered. I’m such a rebel.
1. Gourmet Scum and Other Fun Stuff – Degrassi and Sweet Valley. Can it get any better?
2. Hark! Who Goes There? – A lot of awesome Nancy Drew.
3. Saturday Morning Hangover – Interesting information about the Saturday morning cartoons we all grew up with.
4. YAK Book Reader – A pretty new blog recapping young adult books.
Hmm, I thought there were more.
August 14, 2009
Starting August 21:
But first we have to get through a couple crappy books about Steven. Sorry.
August 14, 2009
August 13, 2009
The moral of the story: All boys are evil, even the nice ones.
The Big Deal: Costume ball at Lila’s
Synopsis:
Lila is having a costume ball in two weeks. Which is awesome. I mean, how many of your high school friends threw costume balls? Jessica, Amy and Maria are complaining that they can’t get their boyfriends to dress up the way they want them to. Then they tease Lila about her lack of a date, and then about her crush on John Pfeifer. Lila and John have been spending a lot of time together lately, though they haven’t been on a date yet. Lila likes John because he’s a serious guy, but sometimes his seriousness freaks her out a little. She’s also pretty sure his breakup with Jennifer Mitchell has left him a little damaged.
Sam and Jessica make out after a date. Surprisingly, Jessica is worried that their kissing might go too far one of these days. Without once saying the word “sex,” Jessica and Liz discuss the difficulty of keeping in control. Liz tries to tell her not to worry, that all couples go through this, but Jessica thinks it’s the biggest problem ever. She decides to make sure she and Sam are never alone together.
John finally asks Lila out. They have dinner at the Box Tree Café, and Lila thinks everything is just beautiful and awesome. She suggests they go for a drive, and they end up at Miller’s Point. They start to make out, and then John turns into the kind of sex monster you usually only see in V. C. Andrews books. He pulls her hair, unbuckles his belt and ignores her requests for him to stop. Lila takes his keys from the ignition and stabs him in the neck. She gets out of the car, throws the keys in the bushes and walks to a gas station, where she calls a cab to come take her home.
The next day, Lila is a wreck. She wants to tell someone what happened, but she’s sure she’ll be laughed at and blamed. After all, she wore a little black dress, she suggested Miller’s Point, she’s the flirt. When Jessica calls to find out how the date went, Lila changes the subject pretty fast. That isn’t like Lila, and Jessica is convinced something is wrong.
Meanwhile, all the girls are having trouble getting their boyfriends to decide on costumes for the ball. Winston wants him and Maria to be Tweedledee and Tweedledum, Sam wants to be motorcycle cops, Hugh wants to go as chickens and Todd wants to go as a horse. While all this is going on, Liz has been getting letters from Arthur Castillo, the Crown Prince of Santa Dora (he’s from a Sweet Valley Twins book). They’ve been pen pals for years, but he’s been writing a lot more lately. Todd finds out and gets jealous. Whatever, back to Lila.
Lila goes to school on Monday wearing a shapeless dress and almost no makeup. Amy and Caroline try to ask her how the date went, but she just tells them it was boring and then runs away from them. Jessica is really worried, but Lila won’t tell her what’s wrong. She gets even more worried when Lila says she’s thinking about canceling the costume ball. Jessica talks to Liz, who thinks it sounds like Lila is depressed. All of Lila’s friends are getting worried about her.
Lila decides not to cancel the party, but she does want to tell John not to come. She finds him alone in the Oracle office and tells him what she thinks of him and that he’s not welcome in her house. He kind of smiles in an insolent way and says, “If that’s the way you want it.” Lila feels a little better until John does show up at the party the next night with a cute little sophomore girl. Lila tells him to leave or she’ll have him thrown out, but John taunts her and asks her what reason she’ll give everyone. Lila tries to ignore him, but he turns to his date and loudly says they should leave. Lila tells the girl not to go with him and ends up screaming at John, “Tell her how you tried to rape me last Saturday night!” John tells everything something did happen, but it certainly wasn’t rape. Lila runs upstairs to her room and John leaves.
By the way, Liz and Todd go to the party as the sun and the moon, Sam and Jessica are Han Solo and Princess Leia, Enid and Hugh are the base and receiver of a telephone, and Lila is Peter Pan.
Jessica goes to Lila’s room and knocks on the door for a long time, but Lila won’t come out. The next morning, after trying to call three times, Jessica goes to Lila’s house. Lila finally tells her everything that happened and feels better about things. Jessica goes home to find Sam waiting for her. She realizes she’s lucky to have a boyfriend who respects her and who would never do anything to her like what John did to Lila.
Monday is hell for Lila. The story has spread, and while some people are nicer to her than usual, most of the school seems to believe John’s version of what happened. Tuesday is just as hellish, and Lila nearly panics when John stands in her path as she’s walking to her lunch table. She already feels like everyone is watching her and talking about her, and now she’s worried John is going to speak to her. Suddenly, Liz and Enid are on either side of her, thanking her for the party and loudly saying the only thing wrong with it was the gatecrasher. Jessica talks to Jennifer Mitchell to see if there’s anything she can do to help Lila. Jennifer says the reason she broke up with John is because he was controlling and always had to have everything his way, “but that has nothing to do with this other thing.”
That night, a sophomore named Susan Wyler shows up at Lila’s house. John and Susan went on a date after John and Jennifer broke up but before he asked Lila out. Susan had to fight him off, too. The only thing that saved her was the arrival of another couple. She and Lila plan to confront John and hopefully get him into counseling. On Wednesday morning, Lila puts a note in John’s locker asking him to meet her at the Dairi Burger that night. Then she tells Jessica about Susan Wyler and their plan.
The Dairi Burger is more crowded that night than Susan and Lila would like, and John is sitting with a large group of other guys. Lila sits down next to John and says she wants to talk privately, but John is all cocky and says she can talk in front of his friends. Lila mentions Susan Wyler. John looks worried and says he doesn’t know what she’s talking about, but then Susan Wyler is right there and they both tell him he needs help. One of the other guys at the table says Susan is his little sister’s best friend and Susan is like a part of his family. John says they’re lying, but the other guy says Susan doesn’t lie. The boys start to move away from John like he’s Arlo Guthrie on the Group W bench, and then Jessica, Liz, Sam and Todd gather around Susan and Lila and they all leave the restaurant together.
I have a problem with this book. John Pfeifer has been around since the beginning. He’s always been a nice guy. And I understand that this is the problem Lila has: John is such a nice guy that it’s hard to believe he could do something like this. But it’s just not believable in this context. It would have been one thing if John had just gotten carried away while making out with Lila, but it’s more like he’s turned into this asshole who goes out of his way to try to rape girls. When he’s at Lila’s party telling his date they should leave, he’s doing so in a way that makes it clear he’s going to try to rape her, too. It might have been better if they had created a whole new character. Using John for this story just made it ridiculous and unbelievable.
Setup for the next book: Dana Larson and Aaron Dallas are having relationship troubles. Prince Arthur is coming to Sweet Valley for a visit.
Quotes:
“Sam, could you give me a hand with this [costume]?” she asked. “I need you to pin me up.”
Sam came up from behind and put his arms around her. “I’ll pin you up any time you want,” he said in her ear.
Oh, Sam. My heart’s all aflutter.
[Elizabeth] thought about how he had acted when he was trying to get Jennifer Mitchell to break up with Rick Andover. Even though she had agreed that he was right, she hadn’t approved of his methods. “Strong-arm tactics,” she had thought of them as at the time.
Read this and tell me where John used “strong-arm tactics.”
The Cover: This is a difficult cover to look at. I hate that Lila looks all scared, but I mostly hate John’s evil face and the fact that it looks like it was designed to make you think you can tell a rapist by his ugliness.
